Why I'm Afraid of Success
Hello there and welcome back to the blog! Today, I wanted to talk about a topic that I don’t think is talked about nearly enough: and that’s fearing success.
Now, I know what you’re thinking “Dheandra, why would anyone fear success?” And honestly, I thought the same thing until I was able to do some inner work and discover that I had a major blocker: my fear of success.
Here’s the thing: we all have a different view of what success is, but success almost always means change - and if we’re being honest it usually means big change. When I started to evaluate the root of my fear, I realized that I was afraid of success because in my eyes success meant that my whole life would be different.
Although the changes that arise with success are usually positive, it’s still easy to be afraid. Some of us may be afraid that success will make us lose our friends or that success may require us to bear more weight on our shoulders in terms of our responsibilities. While this is true, success can also bring about some major changes that can change your life for the better: such as financial freedom or the ability to do what you love and love what you do.
After figuring out that I had a slight fear of success, I decided to begin to address it because what’s the point of figuring out you have a problem if you don’t put a plan in place to fix it. Here are a few things that I’ve learned:
I have to unlearn negative beliefs around success and replace those beliefs with better.
This meant that whenever I’d picture myself succeeding and I’d have some sort of nervous, butterfly feeling or anxiety around the thought of success, I’d focus on a different frame of view. When I’d say “what if this bad thing happens” I’d try to catch that thought and follow with well, “what if this amazing thing were to happen instead”.
Part of unlearning these beliefs is learning to catch them in the act. We’re so used to millions of thoughts flying around in out head on the daily that we may not even catch these beliefs. However, when you make a point of trying to be more conscious, you do start to notice when you’re having those thoughts more and you’re able to step in front of them and regain your power.
Change is inevitable and it is what you make it.
I still have to remind myself of this one daily because sometimes it’s easy to forget. I love a good routine, but here’s the thing: in order to invite success you must be open and ready for change. How do you expect to level up in your life if you’re doing the same thing day in and day out?
So, whenever I feel myself feeling nervous or apprehensive about the thought of change I like to remind myself that it’s happening, whether I like it or not. The key is to change my perception of it. How can the changes happening benefit me? Or, even better - how can I implement changes in my life that will lead to me getting the things I desire?
Last but least the most important thing I’ve been doing on this journey is reminding myself that I am worthy of success.
So often many us fear success subconsciously because deep down we do not believe we are worthy. We think that we’re not working hard enough, we are not talented enough, we are not built for the success we imagine.
Guess what? If you can see it in your mind’s eye then you can have it! The universe has chose for you to have that specific vision with those specific desires and goals. So, by default, you are worthy!
Here’s an exercise you can try to remind yourself of this: grab a notebook and write down all the things you have accomplished this year that you can remember. I can be a small as you started a YouTube channel (which isn’t that small, really) to moving out of your parents house or saving a certain amount of money. Write down all the things, big or “small” that you are proud of.
Read the list back to yourself and thing about how you felt before you had or did those things. You probably had some fear or some doubt around those goals or desires. But, guess what! You achieved them! You put in the work, you aligned your actions with your vision and you got what you wanted. It all worked in the end and guess what - you deserved it - all of it!
Success can be defined in so many different ways, but if you have a subconscious fear of success, you’ll find yourself sabotaging your path to get what you want. At the end of the day, growth and out paths to success is a journey and part of that journey requires unlearning the beliefs that do not serve to help you grow.
I hope you all enjoyed this video and my three tips for helping you get rid of your fear of success. Just in case you missed anything here they are again:
Make sure you begin to unlearn negative beliefs around success and replace those beliefs with better.
Understand that change is inevitable and it is what you make it.
Remind yourself that you are worthy of success.
Alright, that’s all for today, folks! I hope you all enjoyed this video and blog post! Leave me a comment and let me know if you have uncovered a subconscious fear of success and which tip you think will serve you the best. Until next time, I’ll see you all in the next video!